It's ok to be nervous
It shows you care
The first day of school. Any interview. Your wedding day. England in a Euros final (twice!).
We all get nervous, but some nerves aren’t equal.
Some people can simply shake them off after five minutes, for others it’s days or weeks of worry ahead of whatever event or moment they’re preparing for.
Both are normal and both are equally valid.
Is acceptance the secret weapon?
Yes.
The ability to acknowledge nerves can be your way to win, particularly in a situation where you have some element of control, and other people are involved
(Obviously this doesn’t apply to England in final, sadly!).
Whether you’re in an interview or making a presentation, letting your audience know you’re a little bit nervous humanises you – it lets them know you’re not a robot, but that you care.
Turn it into a joke to help you settle. When they laugh, or even just smile, you’ve made a connection. They get it, they’ve more than likely been there too… and they might even subconsciously or actively remember that time they felt the same way.
Crucially, the ability to public acknowledge and accept your nerves doesn’t diminish your skills or expertise. Instead, it shows your audience the real you, and increases their trust in what you’re about to say.
Reframing nerves at work
Whilst searching for supporting inspiration for this post, I spotted these two comments on Reddit, specifically related to job interviews:
I interview (and hire) a lot. You have to understand how much I’m rooting for you. My boss has been up my ass for weeks to fill this position and I’m so hoping it’s you. Honest to god, this is the truth. You may think there’s a power imbalance but please understand that I desperately want to hire you.
And:
The best advice I can give is to alter your mindset. The company has a need. They are looking for experts who can fill that need.
You’re in the driver’s seat. Don’t look at it as “I need a job, please help me.”
It’s (from the employer) “we really need someone who has the capability to do this work. Please tell me you are this person!!”
And then tell them why you are there to “rescue” them.
They’re both powerful.
They both help to flip the mindset of the interviewee so they understand the person or people who will be sitting opposite them.
And, as a good job interview should be a conversation – not a grilling – this will hopefully help to settle your nerves too. That doesn’t mean you’ll lose them completely – as we’ve established that’s normal – but it does mean you’re able to feel more in control.
More you.
And the application of those two quotes goes beyond interviews into work more broadly. If you’re gearing up for a presentation, the audiences wants to hear from you. They’re sitting there to hear your knowledge because their job is the same or similar to yours, or they’ve read the synopsis, or they’ve seen what you write on LinkedIn.
Not to mention the fact that you’ve decided to give that presentation because you know what you’re talking about and may have wanted to put yourself out of your comfort zone. Another positive which shows you’re in control.
Remember, your nerves just show you care.
And that’s a good thing!
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It’s important to separate nerves from genuine anxiety. If you’ve read the above and find it difficult to do that, please read this advice from Mind. And remember, help is always available if needed.